Thursday, 16 April 2015

The uselessness and lies of Jonathan Lord, Tory

One of the pleasures of election campaigns is to receive communications from candidates.  A disclaimer: these observations apply to the local politics of Woking, a town of limited merit (even for Surrey).  So far I have yet to receive any printed material from UKIP, presumably because they are only allowed crayons under strict supervision.  Labour has sent round a short leaflet, focusing on national issues.  The Liberal Democrats are clearly focusing on local council elections, with two communications to date - generic but reasonably high quality leaflets.

So I was flattered to return this evening to the mail containing a personalised leaflet from our Conservative MP, addressed to me:   "Jonathan Lord, Securing Britain's future for Quintus Slide".  Lord, whose claims to admission to the human race include having worked in advertising and been deputy leader of that paragon of probity, Westminster Council, is unable to present any positive message or worthwhile reasons to vote for him and his bunch of moribund fantasists.

The Tories in this election are clearly majoring on the politics of fear.  There is an astounding graphic entitled "the choice at the General Election", which has one-third devoted to the alleged merits of "David Cameron and the Conservatives:.  These include:

  • The deficit down - which is a dubious claim, particularly since it is now significantly higher than his Chancellor projected when slashing the state in 2010
  • Income tax cut - the only rate that has been cut is from 50% to 45%, doubtless helpful to someone like Lord but not to the majority of the population.  The increase in the personal allowance was a Liberal Democrat policy Cameron implemented, as he claimed, "over his dead body", which might have been a price worth paying
  • More jobs - without any comment on whether said jobs are full-time, part-time, zero hours, paying the minimum wage or productive
  • New businesses - an intriguing claim, which is probably not shared by those whose old businesses went to the wall during the recession
Against that, taking up two thirds of the space, is the suggestion of "Coalition of Chaos", with four newspaper headlines from those upholders of impartial analysis owned by non-dom Rothermere, or Austro-American crony Murdoch, and in one case the Herald, reminding me that I can't vote for the same party as I did in 2010.  Amongst his claims that non-Tory parties would deliver are:

  • Spending up - clearly he hasn't bothered reading or understanding his own party's manifesto, with unfunded commitments here, there and everywhere
  • Higher taxes - another canard which the Tory sheep bleat whenever there is the faintest whiff of opposition spending commitments.  Higher taxes might be a good thing, if they fund public services, reduce the deficit and redistribute wealth from the parasites to the majority
  • More debt - which doesn't square with the Tory manifesto, nor is it necessarily a bad thing if the economy grows faster than the rate of debt increase
  • Jobs lost - unlikely to be his, although one can but dream. 
No mention anywhere of opportunity, constitutional reform, Europe or housing - issues that might interest people.  Instead of which he parades the Tory dog whistles of cottage hospitals and support for the armed forces.  Dissecting the semiotics of the Tories in Surrey is hardly rewarding.

Lord is unknown outside his constituency, for good reason.  This is the kind of mendacious claptrap that the Tories dole out in places where they are reasonably confident of no electoral earthquake, and intellectually contemptuous of the electorate.  If he aspired to mediocrity, then there might be a little more reason to be sympathetic.  Wasting resources on this kind of sub-literate and inaccurate polemic, "personally" targeted, makes it much clearer that the imperative is to register disgust and contempt, both whenever they try to engage, and when the ballot paper is available.

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