Sunday, 9 September 2012

Piss off your neighbour - the new Tory strategy

From the near-orgasmic media response, you would have thought that Hamster-face was embarking on a combination of rewriting the Ten Commandments and demoting Apostles who showed any sign of brain-stem activity.  Last week's continued post-death twitching of the Coalition can't disguise the fact that the entire shower is discredited and that the vital signs are a strange combination of crows, vultures and maggots picking over the corpse.

To deal with the "reshuffle" the message was meant to be that Cameron has got a grip on his party and tossed the odd fetid corpse in the direction of his dribbling backbenchers.  Thus Ken Clarke, about the only really competent Tory in the administration, was demoted to make way for a knucklehead who will appeal to the Pavlovian hordes on the extreme right.  The third Transport Secretary in three years was imposed to make way for the Heathrow expansion, which will hopefully cause London Tories to implode in apopleptic ectoplasm.

Had Davy got any political skills, he would have done something to remove the pustular presence of his incompetent Chancellor - whose rightfully-ribald reception at the Paralympics demonstrates the depths of idiocy to which this government has sunk.  However Gideon has too many friends, and doubtless some kind of power of blackmail over his fellow Etonian gobshite so we are stuck with the inept cretinism for the foreseeable future.

Beyond that, it was left to Supreme Poodle Clegg to announce the Coalition's latest masterstroke - the relaxation of planning laws.  In a strictly time-limited context (yeah, right) the already-lax existing regulations will be suspended to allow the development of people's gardens much more than it would have been already.  This is a charter for Rachmans, allowing the kind of slum conditions that have shamed much of London and the South East to be extended without due local control, blighting the lives of those who are forced to watch impotently as proper development control is jettisoned to give more cash to a class of people who should by rights be hanging from lampposts as a warning to other parasites.

The fallacy of this approach to economic growth is that the vast majority of the alleged stimulus will disappear into the grey economy, into the hands of white-van man whose main interest is tax evasion through cash transactions.  The only beneficiaries will be those who are self-excluded from society - at least they should have given some more money to HMRC to crack down on the petty crooks and buy-to-let mavens who believe that the way to emulate the tax-avoiding scum at the top of the pile is to avoid tax as well.

However, this will naturally annoy more people than it benefits, so from an altruistic point of view we should probably cheer - more Tory ineptitude will cause more people to consider switching away from them at the next election.  However, this is a charter for eyesores, intrusion and environmental damage - which given the extent to which the Tories have promoted laughing-stock nonentities with a mad agenda (a Transport Secretary with a fear of flying, an Environment Minsiter who hates renewable energy - which amusingly even hacked off John Selwyn Gummer) must be resisted.

Come the next election, this week's combination of suicide notes may make Dignitas blanch at even allowing the Coalition through the front door.

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